Home for Christmas
by usuratonkachi-ttebayo
Summary: It's almost Christmas time, but Sasuke still isn't back in Konoha. Christmas music usually gets people in the mood for Christmas, but for a particular Team Seven, it does a lot more. Some more willingly than others, each of the members of Team Seven thinks about each other, memories they have from the past, and dreams they have for the future. [Oneshot]


**a/n: **I don't own Naruto.

All the songs I got from Michael Buble's Christmas album.

* * *

**Home for Christmas**

Sasuke shivered. He didn't want to admit it, but it was chilly out. Being cold was being weak. Giving in and deciding he'd rather be warm, he ducked into the nearest bar. Unconsciously, he thought _It's colder than it would be in Konoha this time of year_ before crushing the thought of his old village. No, _the village_, not _his_, he corrected. He had no ties to Konoha.

It had been almost two and a half years since he left. He told himself he didn't even remember the number of the team he had been on. He had cut his ties and was now thriving in Oto. He could not have made a better decision. In fact, he should've left earlier. Spending time with that blond moron, pink-haired girl, and perverted sensei had been a waste of valuable time.

In Konoha, almost every night he would either have horrid nightmares of blood and red moons and dead parents or he would have glorious dreams of slaying Itachi. After he left, though, something else was thrown into the mix. Dreams of calm and blond and smiles and 'Sasuke-kun's. He discovered if he trained hard enough, usually those dreams would go away. Usually. But then, so did his glorious dreams of achieving his ambition.

As he sat down, the bartender strolled over, glass and drying cloth in hand.

"What'll it be today, Sasuke-sama? In town on another mission for Orochimaru-sama?

"Hn."

"The usual?"

"Aa."

Sasuke had only been there a few times before. He only went into town when missions from Orochimaru required he did. There were too many weird people, homeless children, and bad vibes. Plus, he'd rather be alone or training. Going to town was a waste of time. Still, if he was there already, sometimes he would stop in to get a drink.

Despite the fact that Sasuke had been a customer less than half a dozen times, the bartender had no problem remembering what he usually got. Who came to a bar and only ordered water? But Sasuke knew everything else to be unhelpful to the diet of a shinobi.

Taking the glass of water with a nod to the bartender, Sasuke took a sip, mentally assessing his latest training session with Orochimaru. He was faster than the Sannin now, and while each spar was challenging, he felt like he was plateauing. Orochimaru hadn't taught him something new in weeks and was spending more time in his quarters. Suddenly, his thoughts were jarred as words from the song playing crept into his mind.

"I am dreaming tonight of a place I love even more than I usually do, and although I know it's a long road back, I promise you I'll be home for Christmas. You can count on me . . ."

_What a stupid song. Christmas songs are always like that._ Flashes of Christmas mornings in the Uchiha manor suddenly flooded his mind. A grinning Itachi as Sasuke gaped at his gift. His parents smiling as they all sat around the fire clutching mugs of hot chocolate. The look on Itachi's face as he held the handmade card Sasuke had given him. His mother, Itachi, and him all snuggling under a blanket on the couch in their pajamas. Itachi tickling him. Family.

Family. Father. Mother. Itachi. _Itachi_. Sasuke thought of how much he loved his brother. How much he loved being with his brother. How much he looked up to his brother. How perfect his brother was.

How much he hated his brother. How much he wanted him dead. How much he wanted him in pain. How much he wanted to feel Itachi's warm blood run through his fingers and down his clothes. How much he wanted his clan avenged. How much he wanted his parents avenged.

Itachi took everything. Sasuke had nothing left. Nothing but an ambition. At one point, after becoming a Genin, he thought that maybe he had something, people in his life again. But that was before.

A part of him realized how much he had gained since his family had been massacred. He had what he almost considered friends, even a best friend. He had been almost happy at times. At times, he almost fought, not to prove how strong he was, but to protect others. But if he had a choice between moving on, continuing with that life he had started to rebuild, or giving up all he had gained to have his family back, he would pick his family. The future was not where his dreams were, they were in the past, were they would always be. That's all it came down to. But since going back wasn't possible, he could at least fix the way they had died. It didn't matter if he didn't become a better person, it didn't matter if other people weren't happy because of what he was doing, what mattered was that everything was as it should be. He loved his family. He had loved how his brother had been. Avenging them would set things right.

Thinking back to the Chuunin exam and the first time he met the Snake Sannin, Sasuke remembered how scared he had been and how weird Orochimaru was. And now he was this man's apprentice. He didn't wonder how it had come to this, he knew exactly how and why, and he didn't regret it. It wouldn't be long now before he stood over Itachi's dead body, the disgrace of the Uchiha clan cleansed.

"I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams"

"A place I love." A place _I love_. He certainly didn't love Konoha. Maybe at one point he did, but now it was nothing to him.

"A long road back." A _long _road back. And he was glad of it. He wanted as much space between that town and himself as possible. Who cares if it meant going back after would be harder. He wasn't sure if he planned on going back.

"I'll be home." _Home_. As much as he didn't consider Konoha home, he certainly didn't consider his rooms in Orochimaru's layers home. So did that mean he didn't have a home? Something caught him there. Who cared if he didn't have a home? He didn't need one. But something in him said this wasn't fair. He shouldn't have to think like this. His home should've been in the Uchiha manor, in Konoha, with his family and his friends. He knew he was an avenger. Yet if his brother hadn't killed the entire clan, Uchiha Sasuke wouldn't be an avenger. Uchiha Sasuke would've been happy.

Uchiha Sasuke was meant to be happy. Uchiha Sasuke was meant to shine alongside his brother. Uchiha Sasuke was meant to enjoy hot chocolate in his pajamas with his brother on Christmas morning. Uchiha Sasuke was meant to have friends. Uchiha Sasuke was meant to be a great shinobi of Konohagakure.

"In my dreams."

He downed the rest of his glass and made his way out. Before the cold slapped some sense back into him, Sasuke caught himself wondering if tonight he would dream of being home (_no, Konoha isn't home_) for Christmas, a Christmas with the only family he had left, Team Seven (_ah, so I do remember what number it was_), presents, and hot chocolate. But that would be too painful. A lot would have to happen before that ever could.

He would be back at the hideout just before dark. Maybe he could train hard enough before falling asleep so tonight he could avoid the happy dreams he knew would be inevitably visiting sometime soon.

* * *

Sakura set her clipboard down, sorted the new files into the piles on her desk, and walked out of her office. It was midnight and she was halfway done with the night shift at the hospital. All the nurses from the evening shift had left, but the hospital was far from dead. Just on her way to the staff room down the hall, she passed at least five nurses going in or out of patients' rooms.

She, however, was on break and she planned on enjoying her break. Opening the staff room's fridge, she pulled out a water bottle, unscrewed the cap with a satisfying crack of breaking plastic, and downed a third of it in one gulp. Liquid coursing through her parched throat was so refreshing. After locating her bento in the back of the fridge, she sat on one of the couches facing out the window featuring a view of the hokage tower and half of Konoha.

It had just stopped raining, but the window was still wet with raindrops falling from the overhang on the roof, blurring the streetlights and everything outside the hospital.

The Christmas music playing softly in the room reminded her that it would be Christmas soon and Sakura still had most of her Christmas shopping to do. She always got Naruto some sort of premium ramen for Christmas and Ino something glamorous, but maybe this year she would do something different. Maybe Naruto could use a book about developing new justu or controlling chakra.

She had been so focused on work and her gifts for others, she hadn't really thought about herself. Putting her chopsticks with some rice in her mouth, she had a rare moment where she thought about herself. Honestly, though, she couldn't think of anything she wanted. She didn't really need anything. She was almost always studying, working, or training and that left little time for wants. Even as it was, she usually only had time to go to Ichiraku with Naruto once every few days.

It was their way of catching up, of staying close, of reminiscing.

Yes, of course there was something she wanted for Christmas.

But it wasn't something someone could give as a gift. It was something she and Naruto had to work for. Something they had been working for endlessly, tirelessly, for two and a half years. And they would continue to work for all of eternity until they had it. It was something they needed, something they knew they would get someday, but something that just wouldn't come for Christmas.

Sakura and Naruto loved Sasuke and would save him. No matter how long it took, no matter what they had to do to get it to happen, Sakura and Naruto would bring Sasuke home.

Then she noticed the song had changed.

"Each year I ask for many different things, but now I know what my heart wants you to bring. So please just fall in love with me this Christmas. There's nothing else that I will need this Christmas. Won't be wrapped under a tree, I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night."

Sakura choked on her food as she slumped over, her heart clenching painfully. Tears burned her eyes and, before she could stop them, began to stream down her face. Setting her bento aside she began wiping her tears away, giving up soon after. They wouldn't stop, so she hugged herself and sobbed, grateful no one else was in the room.

Team Seven meant more to her than anything. She would do anything to have the three of them back together. What she told Sasuke the night he left was true. She had people she loved here in Konoha, but without him here, she had been so lonely for the last two and a half years. Lonelier than she had ever been. Even after all this time, even though this wasn't all she restricted their relationship to, she knew she was still in love with Sasuke. So in love with Sasuke. The night he left slapped her out of her fangirl love and she and Naruto had quickly become serious.

"So please just fall in love with me this Christmas."

She felt bad admitting those words affected her when he wasn't even home, when he wasn't even back, when as far as Sasuke cared, their ties were cut, but still, there were some things you couldn't control. _I would gladly give up my feelings for Sasuke-kun to just be back home and happy, though. Back in Konoha, Team 7 reunited. Training, ramen, missions, and insults. Just like it had always been._ Sasuke saved from his darkness. Sasuke with eyes able to see light. Sasuke with eyes that would smile as he smiled, not just glare as he smirked. SasukeSasukeSasuke.

The tears kept coming.

A part of her became angry, which was not uncommon when thinking about him. She was angry that Sasuke had to be like this. Angry at the circumstances that made Sasuke an avenger, that made him lust for his brother's blood, that made him demand power, that made him crave vengeance for the Uchiha clan.

But getting angry at what happened in the past wouldn't help. Sasuke chose his path himself. _He didn't have to pick the path of the avenger, though. I'll never know exactly what happened or what I would do if I had been in his place, but I know that there were other options. There are always other options. _

Sakura regretted what happened. She wished that the massacre had never taken place. She wished for a Sasuke that was whole and happy. But who knows what that would've changed? Maybe there would be no Team Seven, maybe it would've changed them and the village in a way she couldn't understand.

Drying her eyes and resuming eating, Sakura stared out the window. Sasuke was out there. She had no idea what he was doing or what he was going through. He would not be home for Christmas, but if she and Naruto could help it, Team Seven would have many Christmases in Konoha together. Just because not everything was okay now, it didn't destroy hope for the future.

She stayed like that, staring into the dark village and almost missed the end of her break. She thought of Naruto. She thought of Sasuke. She thought of their past missions. She thought of the Chuunin exam. She thought of Orochimaru. She thought of the night Sasuke left. She thought of the training she had undergone and the knowledge she had learned to get him back. She thought of when she would see him again. She thought of him coming home for good. She thought of what Christmases to come would bring. She thought of her and Sasuke celebrating with Naruto after he became Hokage. She thought of them becoming Jounins and leading teams of their own. She thought of the three of them growing old together in Konoha.

"I want something that lasts forever, so kiss me on this cold December night."

If you asked her, she would deny it, but she also thought of something that would last forever and, maybe to make up for how sad she had become in such a short amount of time, she indulged herself and thought what it would be like to kiss, no, to be kissed by Sasuke on a cold December night.

But there were patients who needed care, paperwork to fill out, ramen to be eaten, and training to be done. Things like kisses and missing nins coming home would have to wait.

Maybe she wouldn't have all she wanted this Christmas, but what she did have would be enough to get her to the next Christmas. And that would be enough to get her to the next one. Maybe by then Team Seven would already be whole. As she walked back to her office, the clock reading one o'clock on the morning of December 20th, she felt confident that one Christmas, she would have all she could ever want.

* * *

It was raining lightly in Konoha. It didn't get cold enough to snow, not like in the Land of Iron, and citizens of Konoha usually wondered what it would be like to have a "white Christmas". Raindrops slid down the flaps outside Ichiraku as an arm in a black and orange jacket pushed one aside.

"Hey, Naruto! Just you today?"

"Yeah, Teuchi-san, Sakura-chan's a bit busy right now and I couldn't get anyone else to come with me. Oh well, the future hokage doesn't need anyone else to enjoy your ramen-ttebayo!"

Naruto took as seat and unconsciously began to hum to "Jingle Bells" as it played in the shop. Christmas was less than a week away and Naruto was so proud of himself for having all of his Christmas shopping completed already. Now he could spend the rest of his time developing some new jutsus and maybe even getting in the Christmas spirit.

Of course, he couldn't fully get in the Christmas spirit. He had never really been able to. He never had anyone to share Christmas with. It had always been him, alone, every day of the year. Christmas only made him feel more alone. Until he had Team Seven, that is. They had filled the hole in his life and, for once, he was happy. Team Seven never had a chance to enjoy Christmas together, though, before Sasuke left. And every Christmas since then, Naruto had never been able to truly be happy without Sasuke with him, Sakura, and Kakashi. His brother, his best friend, the person he would traverse the world for, the person he was working constantly to get back, would not be in Konoha on Christmas and that left Christmas, not completely, but very much empty.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight."

Nartuo's head fell; the song's lyrics seemed to be poking fun at what he was just thinking. He couldn't have a merry Christmas. His heart would never be light until Sasuke was home and happy. Troubles out of sight? Since when?

The way it spoke of "from now on" almost made it seem that, if this were in a movie or something, Sasuke would come walking up behind him, smirking and saying he had decided to come back.

Naruto looked over his shoulder for a bit just to check. He didn't even notice when his order of ramen appeared on the counter in front of him.

Turning to face his food, he thought _Of course Sasuke isn't going to come back just because you heard a song. Get a grip. Get a grip, Naruto! It's going to take more than Christmas and some songs to bring Sasuke home._

"Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more. Through the years we all will be together, if the Fates allow"

Naruto checked over his shoulder again, just for good measure. No black hair. No hands in pockets. No confident look.

No Sasuke.

Slurping some ramen, Naruto thought back to some of Team Seven's "happy golden days of yore". The first day their team had been formed. Missions mowing lawns and capturing prissy cats. Countless hours waiting on the red bridge for Kakashi-sensei. Nights they were traveling and lay together in their bed rolls under the stars, talking until they all fell asleep. It was usually just him and Sakura doing the talking, but sometimes Sasuke would make a comment. Even more rare and special were the times where those comments weren't insulting someone, when Naruto thought that, maybe, Sasuke cared about them. Naruto knew Sasuke did deep down, just as much as he himself did, though neither wanted to voice it. Sasuke had called him his closest friend just before leaving him near death and walking away.

Naruto thought of how he and Sasuke had fought Orochimaru in the Chuunin exam. When he and Sasuke did all they could to protect Sakura from the Ichibi. How desperate Sasuke looked when trying to warn Naruto of Itachi only to discover he was too late and that his brother was right in front of him. How when he went to see Sasuke in the hospital – he had been worried that Sasuke was even in the hospital – he said he still wanted to fight him. How the pain in Sasuke's eyes when he was yelling at Naruto for not being able to understand familial bonds was the same pain in his eyes when Itachi had put him under Tsukuyomi.

Naruto knew that Sasuke had to endure too much pain and loneliness as a child. Being a Jinchuuriki had been nearly impossible to stand, too. Maybe Sasuke was right, though, they both did go through a lot, but Naruto couldn't fully understand Sasuke's pain. But that also meant Sasuke couldn't fully understand Naruto's pain. But maybe they didn't have to understand to the fullest amount. Understanding was important, but maybe that wasn't all there was to it.

If Sasuke hadn't had to go through what he did, he would be so different. But how different would Naruto be? He had looked up to Sasuke and felt a connection with him because of their aloneness. What if Sasuke hadn't been alone though? Naruto suddenly felt so happy thinking of a happy, loved, loving Sasuke. He stared into his fourth bowl of ramen (wait, when did he even finish his first? But it wasn't like he ever kept track), and was filled to burst with happiness at the thought of what Sasuke could've been, what Sasuke was meant to be. But would that have made him, Naruto, more bitter? Sasuke was someone he had held onto in the academy. Outwardly they were rivals, but knowing that Sasuke was just as alone as he was gave him a connection to make him just a little less bitter toward the world. It was a connection that helped him last until he had Iruka-sensei and then Team Seven, which Sasuke so fatefully happened to be a part of.

"Faithful friends". Team Seven was faithful to each other. Naruto was confident in that. Yes, Sasuke had come very close to killing him on purpose. Yes, Sasuke had knocked Sakura out and left her on a bench for a cold, lonely night. But Sasuke had a past and an ambition. Though Naruto didn't agree with how Sasuke was going about achieving his ambition, he understood that Sasuke needed it for closure. That didn't mean that he and Sakura were just going to let him leave without a fight, of course. There were other ways to get strong. Naruto thought of how strong he himself had gotten in the last two and a half years. Sasuke could get strong in Konoha, too. Naruto was confident in Sasuke's abilities to fulfil his goal. Yes, he was scared. He would admit that, but only to himself. But he knew once Sasuke had his vengeance, he would crave his old bonds again and come slipping back into Konoha. And Naruto and Sakura would welcome him with open, waiting arms.

Naruto knew Sasuke better than anyone and he knew that Sasuke was stubborn. If Sasuke wanted his ties cut, he would do his best, but the smallest, most stubborn part of his soul would hold on to them until there was no need to repress his feelings for the only family he had left. He would come home. Then Sasuke would be happy. Then Naruto would be happy. Then Sakura would be happy. And who knew what else that would change? But it wouldn't change anything for the worse; Naruto was sure of that. With Sasuke home, nothing could go wrong.

"Gather near to us once more". Maybe 'once more' meant that it was normal for faithful friends to leave for a time. But that also meant they normally returned. Maybe that meant everything would be okay.

"Through the years we all will be together". Yes, years meant a long time. There would be more time together than apart and that would make every second spent training and hoping worth it. Team Seven, the family Naruto loved, had been incomplete for two and half years, but even if they were apart for twice that length, that would only be a fraction of the time they would spend laughing and going on missions together afterward.

But what did the "If the fates allow" part mean? Finishing his fifteenth bowl of ramen, Naruto noticed it had begun to rain harder. Maybe this was a test. If Sasuke had never left, maybe Team Seven never would fully appreciate each other. There were some times, usually after just returning home from training or while waiting for Kakashi-sensei, that Naruto realized how much better his life had become once Team Seven was formed. But when Shikamaru had broken the news that Sasuke had left the village, Naruto became fully aware that Team Seven was something he would do anything to keep intact. Maybe this was necessary for them all to realize what exactly they meant to each other. Naruto was sure that once Sasuke returned, their bonds would be much stronger. Was it worth it? The pain of having him gone for so many years only to be happier once he was back? It had to be, even if that wasn't the way Naruto would have preferred it.

He hung around Ichiraku for a bit longer, eating, listening to the rain, humming Christmas songs, and talking to Teuchi-san.

Before he left, he looked to his left at the three seats the other members of Team Seven used to occupy. He pictured the future. The Rokudaime Hokage sitting where he was now. Sakura-chan in the seat next to him on her second bowl of ramen. And in the seat between Sakura and Kakashi-sensei was his best friend with a smile on his face.

Naruto walked back home in the rain feeling more in the Christmas spirit than he ever had before.

* * *

**a/n: **This is my first fanfic and while I think people who beg for reviews can be annoying, I now understand and will just say that reviews are greatly appreciated. :)


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